I wonder what do we expect from our relationships, our friendships, our family, our coworkers? Where do we find ourselves in this moment in time? Based on my experience I believe many of us are hurting in one way or another through the interactions that we have experienced with those who surround us. I believe we can all say that we have had our feelings hurt, that perhaps we have cried, been angry, felt used and neglected, crushed and alone. Where do you find yourself today? What is the root of your heartache? Is there a loneliness, an emptiness that you feel?
What if I told you that the reason why you feel all these things could be summed up with one word? Would you believe me? What if I could go one step further and tell you that it could be solved with one word? Would you believe me? Would you toss your head in disdain and think it is impossible and that I am crazy? Okay well, maybe one word is too dramatic to fully encompass and explain. However, it is a great starting point for us today.
I would like to take a moment first and qualify this writing by acknowledging that life can be complicated, and this is not intended to minimize or simplify those situations, for example, where mental illness is an underlying cause. I pray for those of us, who are ensnared by this stronghold that they are delivered from their sufferings. I also pray for those of us in complicated situations that God with guide you, protect you and speak over you.
I come to you with one word – self-absorbed. I look in the mirror and I see me. As I reflect, I come away with a picture of myself that is less than desirable and I realize that when one’s focus is so wrapped up in themselves, they easily spiral when things do not go their way, whether it is their job, their family, their friendships, their financial wellness, their health, you name it. It is like a tornado, yes, we are like mini tornadoes. Picture it with me for a moment if you will, a tornado has a set path and destroys and consumes whatever it needs until it dies. We can be like a parade of miniature tornadoes, when we are so consumed with what we want for ourselves.
More often than not people associate thoughts of being self-absorbed with things like your career, your physical appearance, your material possessions (eg. ensuring you drive a specific car, ensuring your home looks its best, etc .) But it has occurred to me that the breadth and depth of being self-absorbed moves far beyond those realms and into the world of relationships. We want our relationships to look a certain way, we want people to behave in those relationships in a certain way, and we want to control the experiences within those relationships.
I am so thankful for a God that calls me His child, a God that loves me so much He teaches me truths and helps me to learn valuable lessons in life. The ones that are the most painful lessons full of much hurt, and tears, are often the very ones that can be life-changing and forever rewarding. We just need to have faith and trust. “Just” I say, wow! It is not “just”, for me, it is an incredible ongoing challenge because the world tells me to take control, do not be a martyr, fix the situation. But God tells me, be still child, I am your Father, I am in control. And the tornado in my mind quietens and peace envelopes me. It isn’t easy, but the freedom experienced is a beautiful thing.
Okay so, we have identified with our first word – self-absorbed. Are we ready to reveal our second word and our solution? Ready for it? I’ll bet you know it – you cheeky monkeys. JESUS! Yes, Jesus! Oh how I love my Savior, where would I be without Him today? Curled up in fetal position drowning in self-pity and fully absorbed with ME, no doubt!
All our answers are found in Jesus, and the bible is a treasure trove of teachings where Jesus has modeled for us how to live. Look at Matthew 20:28, Jesus said “just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
GIVING HIS LFE – the single, greatest act of serving that we will ever know.
If our God, came to serve us, how can we even fathom any different calling on our own lives, then to serve? But it is our choice, isn’t it? See Jesus’ invitation to us in Matthew 16:24
New Living Translation – Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross and follow me.”
New International Version – Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”
And isn’t this the EXACT opposite of being self-absorbed? To deny oneself is indeed the exact opposite. To deny what we want, is to turn the focus away from ourselves.
We are all invited to follow and to serve, to give of ourselves completely.
How we serve I believe looks different for each one of us and works to the strengths and gifts that God has embedded in each of our spirits. We all have a responsibility to find out what that is and how we can utilize it to fulfill our purpose. Yet I believe there is commonality in how we serve at a basic level. For instance, we all have the gift of time and the gift to listen. How will we use those? So many people want an ear to listen to them and someone’s time to spend with them. These gifts are the very essence of giving.
Christmas season for most of us stirs up in us a desire to give. What better time to stop our tornado of self absorption and instead pour ourselves out in giving? And wouldn’t you know it, because our God is so grand and amazing, when we give, we too receive. Have a look at the following scriptures
Luke 6:38
38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
2 Corinthians 9:6-8
6 Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. 7 Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 8 And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
Father God, You are amazing. What greater act of service can one possibly comprehend than the giving of one’s life? Yet You freely gave Your life to all, so that whoever would receive You would be a child of God. What greater gift could one ask for, than salvation with our God? You call on us to serve, as You served. Fill us Father with love and compassion to serve as you served, to give of ourselves willingly, to share the light of Jesus with others. Transform our thinking away from ourselves and instead to serving as You have invited us to. Amen.